There is a season in betrayal trauma that few people talk about. At first, there is often shock. Then fear. Hypervigilance. Desperate attempts to make sense of what happened. Anger can become a constant companion. Hope rises and falls with every promise, every apology, every good week, and every setback. Then, sometimes almost without warning, something begins to change. The anger doesn’t necessarily disappear. But grief begins to take its place. “Why Am I Crying More Now?” O
You aren’t weak. You aren’t overreacting. Your nervous system is doing exactly what it was designed to do. If you’ve experienced betrayal, you may feel like your body has become someone you no longer recognize. Maybe your heart races when his phone buzzes. Maybe you replay conversations over and over, trying to figure out what you missed.Maybe you feel exhausted but can’t sleep, or you sleep constantly and still wake up tired.Maybe you burst into tears over something small or
One of the most common messages women hear in betrayal trauma spaces is that relapse is “part of recovery.” We are often told to expect it, prepare for it, and normalize it because “nobody is perfect.” While I agree that nobody is perfect, I do not agree that relapse should be considered a normal or necessary part of recovery. Recovery is not perfection. Recovery is a commitment to honesty, accountability, integrity, and change. When someone repeatedly returns to the very beh
