top of page

About This Work: A Safe Path Through Betrayal Trauma, Infidelity, and Porn Addiction

The Framework + Who It's For

​

The Healing Her Model

The Healing Her Model is a partner-sensitive, nervous system–based approach to betrayal recovery. It's comprised of 8 phases that honor every part of the healing process, and it supports women whether they choose to stay, leave, or are still figuring that out.

​

It's entirely centered on you. 

 

Infidelity takes many forms, including pornography, emotional affairs, sexual affairs, and more. They all create relational rupture, which is at the heart of the trauma you are experiencing.

​

This model leverages effective pieces of methods I share values with, then goes deeper.

​

a woman sitting on the floor of her bedroom reading a book. this represents the study of the "healing her model" approach to betrayal trauma recovery and learns "what is betrayal trauma?"
a woman holding her coffee mug with the cream shaped like a heart as a reminder that you cannot make your husband love you again after an affair, but you can create boundaries after infidelity and create more peace and harmony for you personally.

What This Is and What it's Not

You might be hoping to get a 5-step action plan to help your partner fix themselves or one to motivate them to take accountability and change so you can stop hurting. That is SUCH a normal response and a step toward healing.

 

You also likely know, deep in your broken heart....you can’t. You can only make choices for YOU. There are many other great programs to help him, but this is not it. 

​

Through our time together, I hope to walk beside you into knowing there’s a difference between a boundary and a request. Between sobriety and recovery. And between staying in a marriage and keeping yourself well inside of it.

​

This model addresses things like safety seeking, in-home separation, why inequitable repair is necessary and more.

​​

But absolutely no more taking responsibility for his healing.​

a cream blanket, light blue jeans, white flowers, on a couch creating a peaceful vibe for those ready to dive into the mission of "healing her" for women experiencing betrayal trauma.

Mission Statement

At Healing Her Trauma, my mission is to help women rebuild a sense of safety, reclaim their voice, and restore their self-worth after betrayal. This work exists to support women navigating the painful aftermath of infidelity and deception by honoring their lived experience, offering steady and affordable support, and equipping them to make empowered decisions for their healthy futures.

The 8 Phases of Betrayal Trauma Recovery

a cream bag holding self care items as a reminder that one of the 8 phases of betrayal trauma recovery is safety first. We focus on the physical, emotional, and mental needs of every client.

1

Safety First

Foundational Nervous System + Environmental Security

​Emotional, physical, mental, financial, sexual, and spiritual safety must be re-established before anything else. Safety is not assumed—it is rebuilt. It is also a right. No partner should be expected to begin relational healing while still actively unsafe.

a woman sitting on her bed as she reads about betrayal trauma theory and the importance of rest and restore for women experiencing betrayal trauma.
Rest + Resourcing

Ending Over-functioning + Centering Her Needs

2

Betrayed partners are often expected to carry the emotional labor of relational repair. This model rejects that pressure. Here, women are supported to rest, cocoon, receive care, and heal from the expectations of performing, perfection, and compensating for others.

Small pink flowers on a tray with a clear cystal creating a calm space for women to confront what it actually real and not real in their betrayal trauma recovery.
Truth + Transparency

Restoring Reality

3

Betrayal causes an altered reality. Healing requires honesty. This phase centers on disclosures, clear relational agreements and definitions. It signals the beginning of deconstructing compartmentalization, secrecy, and deception. Safety depends on integrity.

a woman is sitting on the floor holding her legs for comfort as a reminder that nervous system support is a key part of the "healing her" method to betrayal trauma recovery.

4

Nervous System Healing

Somatic Recovery + Trauma Response Care

Women learn to recognize their triggers, regulate their nervous systems, and validate their trauma responses. This is not weakness—it’s the body asking for care. The goal is not to suppress responses, but to listen and support them without judgment or shame.

Woman in a white blouse holding a pink tea cup with pink flowers inside.
Identity + Worth

Reclaiming Self from the Rubble

5

After betrayal, identity can feel shattered. This phase helps women reconnect with their intuition, boundaries, dignity, and self-definition. It undoes the internalized blame, shame, and confusion betrayal leaves behind.

a joyful woman is sitting on a bed reading with one leg in the air showing the importance of movement as part of the betrayal trauma recovery process.
Meaning + Movement

Grief, Anger, and Values-Centered Living

6

This phase honors the deep grief of loss, all areas the betrayal has impacted, and altered futures. It makes space for sacred anger, for genuine lament, and for realignment with core values. Women begin making decisions from clarity, not crisis. This is where identity integrates with values.

an open book, candles and plants creating an calm environment for women to focus on real repair as they process their husband's betrayal through porn, emotional affair, or other types of infidelity.
Real Repair

Accountability and Amends from the Betrayer

7

If the relationship continues, this phase is dependent on the betrayer’s work. It’s not just about being sober or changing behavior. This means character change, replacing his unhealthy beliefs, emotional and financial restitution, post-nuptial agreements, and daily relational transparency. Saying sorry is not enough—real repair requires consistent, genuine action.

a woman with her hands on her forehead and eyes closed and she does the deep work of integrating all she has learned through her betrayal trauma recovery.
Integration

Long-Term Rebuilding and Redefinition

8

Whether a partner stays, separates, or redefines the relationship, this phase centers her full humanity. Integration may include spiritual reinvention, new lifestyle choices, embodied joy, renewed community, or reentering relationships with new clarity. All of her parts are seen and embraced in ways that work for her.

Who is This For?

This work is peer-based, justice-oriented, faith-sensitive, AND intentionally affordable!

​

That means you’re welcome here whether you believe in God or don’t, whether you're deconstructing a faith tradition or deeply rooted in one.

 

What matters is your willingness to examine the systems that have shaped you, whether they be religious, familial, cultural, or political, and how they may be affecting your healing.

 

You don’t have to abandon your beliefs. But I want you to have a healthier relationship with the things you give your time, energy, and trust to.​

​Personally, I believe in God. I also left my religion of origin years ago and continue to examine my own spiritual foundations. It’s okay if you’re doing the same. It’s okay if you’re not.

 

This space works because we can hold sacred room for the full spectrum of belief and be honest about the harm some of those systems have caused.

 

If you’re not in a place to challenge things that no longer serve you or make room for others to explore what they believe, this won’t be the right fit.

 

If you are ready to look deeper, you’re in the right place.

bottom of page